


La medida del amor es amar sin medida

by Eilisande



Category: Sense8 (TV)
Genre: Introspection, Multi, Polyamory, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 12:20:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18249716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eilisande/pseuds/Eilisande
Summary: Hernando always saw himself as strictly gay, but Dani is ... she is as much a part of his heart as Lito, his great love, and so he's wondering about poly relations, about the importance of sex and about what they are.





	La medida del amor es amar sin medida

**Author's Note:**

> The story takes place during season 2 of Sense8 after Lito's participation in the gay pride and the return of Joaquin in the life of the trio and after the selection of Lito to participate in a Hollywood movie. 
> 
> Translation of one of my text. Do not hesitate to comment or criticize!

  
  


The heart is a complex thing. No one understands what makes it beat and why. What thing push the human soul to madness and excess when it sees another soul? The heart could not be satisfied with half measures and half oaths. To beat, it needs absolute.

Those were the thoughts of Hernando. He was drinking his morning coffee, sitting next to Lito who was reading his script for the millionth time before leaving to Hollywood. This time, however, it wasn't his lover who inspired such thoughts, but Daniela. She was fighting against a jam pot, next to the fridge. He was smiling without even realising it, just like he was usually smiling at Lito's antics. And just like that, the truth appeared to him. It was obvious. He had feelings for Daniela. He really liked her, something that was way too much like the love he felt for Lito. Only, Lito was the love of his life. How could Dani fit in there?

Lito stood up to help Dani and she thanked him by kissing him on the tip of his nose. Hernando forced his eyebrows to go back to their usual position and plunged his nose into his coffee. He needed to think.

At first, he was amused by her voyeurism. Then, he was strangely excited. He had begun to appreciate her for the joy she brought into their lives. Besides, she helped them with her schemes to allow them to be together in public without people noticing. She had spiced up their lives and made their love stronger somehow. Hernando had always seen himself as the brain of their relationship, the rational man offering stability to Lito who was the heart and the passion. So Daniela was the lungs. Without it, no fresh air, no change, no excitement.

And then he realized something else. Daniela had strengthened their bond. Love makes you blind, indeed. Yes, Hernando knew that Lito had flaws. Many flaws. He had long denied them but could not anymore. One of Lito's flaws would have threatened their love, in the long run.

Lito was a coward. Or had he been? Without Daniela, Lito would never have been able to proclaim his homosexuality. They would have continued to live in hiding. Hernando would have supported it in silence all his life because he loved Lito. Only he would have faded. When Dani came into their life, Hernando was suffering from it already. If they had lived like this for ten years, love might have disappeared, muzzled by resentment and contempt. He would never have had the courage to leave his lover. But Dani had appeared, had changed everything with her nonsense and Lito had abandoned her to this monster Joaquin. Hernando had to face the truth, Lito's cowardice and the rest. Daniela had been the catalyst that had forced him to change his ways of thinking and acting. She had changed Lito, something Hernando had not been able to do. Now, he was a better, stronger man.

Hernando loved her for that.

He stood up, rather abruptly. Lito and Dani looked at him, and he pretexted he needed to finish some work. They smiled, went back to their conversation and he fled to his office. There, he began to contemplate the nature of love. It was not the same for everyone, of course. There were as many types of love as human beings and it was a low estimation.

Daniela had fallen in love with the idea of the two of them, something that always made Hernando wince. But did she love them? And when did he stop thinking of her as a nuisance to consider her a friend, and then something else? What did Lito felt for her? Hernando began to turn on the computer in search of answers.

  
  


Two hours later, he did not feel much more advanced. He took off his glasses to rub the wings of his nose, closed his eyes and sighed. He had found this pretty word, polyamour, to explain what was happening between them. Or maybe just what he felt. Apart from that, he felt he had found few answers but many more questions.

He cleaned up his browsing history, turned off his computer and went back to the living room. Lito was no longer there, but Dani was sitting on the couch, still in underwear and t-shirt, a book in one hand and a hot chocolate in the other. Hernando sat awkwardly beside her. Dani smiled at him and curled against him to continue reading. He began to caress her hair, realizing that he had taken this habit. It was the first time he noticed it.

"Lito is doing his first tests in the bedroom", said Daniela, turning her page. "We are forbidden to enter".

"Yes, he does that when he's very nervous for a role. He'll come back tonight to ask us our opinion on his first tests. I advise you to approve everything with enthusiasm today, otherwise, he'll despair. Tomorrow, we'll be authorized to propose review and advice."

"Okay, good."

We. He really saw them as a "we". They were a "we" and a "us". When he tried to project himself in ten years, he saw two Oscar for the best actor for Lito, and enthusiastic students in front of him. Maybe a trip to Europe, to see the artistic heritage they had there. Above all, he always saw himself in the same apartment, with Lito. And with Dani. He saw them huddled on the same couch or in their bed, laughing, singing and eating ice cream, just with a few more wrinkles.

Against him, Dani moved slightly to find a more comfortable position and began to scratch his neck, for his greatest pleasure. They sank into a comfortable silence. Unfortunately, it caused Hernando's brain to ask even more questions. He was standing there, against that half-naked woman who was objectively beautiful. Since his first adolescent emotions, he had never been attracted by women. He did not think he was attracted to Dani, but Lito might be. Which brought his thoughts into a new direction. Did Daniela herself want their relationship to progress at this stage? Would he himself agree? Could he do it?

"Dani? I would like to ask you a question. You don't have to answer."

Daniela twisted to put down her book and her cup and sit cross-legged in front of him, attentive.

"I'm listening."

"When we met, the first night ... If I hadn't been there, you would have tried to sleep with Lito, but you've never made the slightest gesture in that direction since. Did you really wanted to do it that night?"

He knew immediately that he had asked a painful question and he wanted to take it back. Dani's face, so peaceful the moment before, was now anxious.

"That's what the men I was going out with were waiting for. When you go out with a girl like me, it's not just for the pleasure of her company. You want something else. I thought Lito was waiting for that too."

"And you were relieved."

"Yes."  
"You do not like sex?"

She shrugged before making a vague gesture with her hand to illustrate her doubts.

"The sex, my associates, my friendships, Joaquin ... There are lots of things that I did because it was what was expected of me rather than because that was what I wanted to. I thought I loved sex before, but even if I continue to masturbate and enjoy it, the rest, I do not miss it so much. What I have with you two is much more important than anything else, Hernando."

There were tears in his eyes. He took her in his arms and kissed her neck for a long time. She stayed there for a long time, in silence, until the tears he felt on his bare arm dried up. Then, Hernando realized he was asking a lot of useless questions.

They were what they were, nothing less, nothing more. His need to analyze everything could be harmful sometimes. He had hurt Dani involuntarily, to his great shame. Lito had never asked himself all these questions, for sure. Lito only faced the truth when forced to do so. He accepted things much more easily. Hernando should more often take Dani as an example. She saw what was good for her and she rushed toward it, even at the risk of getting hurt. She was listening to her instinct.  
For Hernando, meeting Lito had been like a thunderbolt. He loved him from the first moment, absolutely. For Dani, it had come gradually, and that love was tender but it was also forever. She had entered his heart and made her nest there. Hernando just wanted her to bloom. He wanted to be here to see it. He wanted Lito to be there to see it too.

Lito came out of the room to look for a drink and surprised them curled up against each other on the couch.

"What," he complained, "no one to call me for that kind of hug? We are a family, I must be invited!"

Hernando opened the circle of his arms to allow Lito to sneak in and close his eyes, tasting his familiar and intoxicating smell. They were a family, Lito was right, and that was the only important thing. It didn't matter that he loved Dani and Lito at the same time, or that it is not the same way. He did not ask what she liked about Lito and himself. Sex did not matter either. Maybe one day, one of them would want to do it and that day Hernando would be ready to listen and try. He was gay, never has been interested in women, but Dani was Dani. So, the question was meaningless, as long as they loved each other without measure and without regret. As St. Augustine said so well, the measure of love was to love without measure. Hernando approved. He did not scale his love for Dani and his love for Lito. He just let their love fill him to reach happiness.

 


End file.
